First, a few things to understand about the Trump I know. It’s no surprise that he can be is-he-even-alive lazy, having not moved for hours, and he clearly believes he was put on this Earth to be worshipped. What you may not know is that he loves hallucinogens.
Trust me, Trump tripping is an improvement. When he’s high, he’ll chase invisible bugs around on the floor, occasionally sprawling on his back, his big belly reaching roundly to the sky, a squishy domed monument to overeating, all the while smelling bad and not caring. Not caring is what he does best.
When he’s not high, he's different. He looks through you. It’s all transactional. He’ll act nice, rubbing his cushy plump orangeness up against you, but he only wants something. When he gets what he wants, usually a meal or attention, he’s done with you until he wants something else.
High or not, he's never wrong and of course would never apologize.
My daughter named him Trump because he’s bright orange and kind of thick around the middle and self-centered. I didn’t like him at first. Then, when he started tripping, he also started sitting on my lap and purring. When Trump purrs, he’s kind of hard to resist. People who don’t know him would never understand this, but it’s true. Trump in your lap …. Well, he’s big and heavy, yes, and stinky, but it’s something everybody should experience.
Funny thing is, I didn’t know he liked tripping until I saw him eating the spider plant. I looked it up and it turns out they’re mildly hallucinogenic. After that I started watching him more closely. Chasing invisible bugs was a real giveaway.
He’s almost delightful when he’s high. I really wish he would do it more. I think we would all be much better off.
